CoffeeTime with Andy & Renie – Bickering snowflakes

Published 10:05 am Friday, April 5, 2024

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By Andy and Renie Bowman 

We were created by our God to be different from each other. We all have different personalities, likes, loves, dislikes and downright detests. Unfortunately, too much of the time the detests are each other. 

Why? Because we see our own outlook on life as the only plausible way to view life. “And the rest of you morons are totally wrong about so many things.” That makes you and me really difficult to be around much of the time. Think about it. How many people in life have you ever completely agreed with – in every conceivable way on absolutely every topic? I already know the answer. Zilch. Nada. Zero. 

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I am certain that you have read that there are no two snowflakes completely alike. Yes, it’s true, even though all snowflakes are white, cold, and small, they are never identical. And just like the snowflakes, we all differ, even though we do have resemblances. We resemble each other in that we are all human, skin-covered and have body parts. But apart from those basics, we each go our own way.

There is one more similarity: We want our own way. And that’s where the problems begin.

If you put two people in the same room that is heated to sixty-nine degrees, quite often you’ll hear one begin to grumble. A June rainstorm causes a farmer to rejoice, while a bride having her outdoor wedding that day will be frantic. A rise in home sale prices brings a smile to a homeowner who has a For Sale sign in the front yard. Potential buyers, not so much. 

You get the idea.

Most of the time, it’s not that we have decided we want to be disruptive just for the fun of it. Rarely does someone declare their gleeful intention to serve as the grump of a committee. Similarly, you don’t often see someone who deliberately works at wearing exactly the wrong thing. And not very often does someone deliberately hold a completely opposing opinion on the new homeowner’s association (HOA) ruling just to be aggravating.

Most of the time, it’s just that we have strong reasons for what we believe, causing us to have differing views that drive our needs and wants. Therefore, what you NEED could be what your neighbor absolutely FEARS.

What is the answer? Beats me. I don’t believe there’s a pat answer for it. But here are a few suggestions that could enable us to live somewhat peaceably next to each other. 

1) Communicate: But that involves listening as well as talking. So you might begin practicing that art.

2) Accept and tolerate small differences: But that takes communication and patience, so refer back to 1)

3) Agree agreeably to disagree on the big stuff: But again, that takes patience and communication, so refer back to 1)

4) Choose not to take offense. When you do disagree and decide to get hurt and angry, realize that you are going to hurt you.

Feel free to disagree with me – agreeably.

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The CoffeeTime Column is part of the Bowman’s ministry of preaching, writing, singing, and counseling. They also stay busy with public appearances and their radio program heard on The Gospel Station Network’s twenty stations. More information on them can be found at