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Dear Amy,

My coworker brings her lunch to work in these elaborate glass containers and eats everything with reusable bamboo utensils. She constantly talks about how wasteful plastic is and how “clean” she feels now that she’s stopped microwaving her food. I’m just trying to eat my leftover spaghetti in peace without a TED Talk about microplastics. It’s getting to the point where I want to hide in my car just to eat a sandwich. How do I deal with this without snapping and launching a plastic fork across the break room?

Sincerely,

Tupperware Tired in Tallassee

Dear Tupperware Tired,

The only logical solution is to begin bringing in increasingly wasteful lunches: Styrofoam containers stacked inside plastic bags wrapped in cling film or individually wrapped cheese cubes just for snacking. Better yet, eat your lunch with a different disposable utensil for every bite — fork, toss it, spoon, toss it. Need a napkin? Why not a new napkin for each finger? 

Or, go full performance art. Show up with a roll of paper towels and make yourself a nice tablecloth. Fashion a bib and hat out of them. 

And if she gives you a side-eye while she’s nibbling on quinoa with her smug little chopsticks? Pause, look deeply into your pre-microwaved meatloaf, and say: “Do you hear that? That’s the sound of freedom. And melted BPA.”

I’m working under the assumption that this is a very small break room with only one table or else this problem would’ve sorted itself by now (right?) She’s probably not trying to shame you — she’s just excited about her new habits. But if her comments feel judgy or constant, it’s okay to politely set a boundary. A calm, “I appreciate your choices, but I’d rather not get food critiques with my lunch,” might do the trick. 

It’s not a crime to eat a microwave burrito on a Styrofoam plate with a plastic fork. If that’s what you choose to do, that’s your choice and it’s fair to ask her to keep her quinoa commentary to herself. 

Still, if you’re feeling a little defensive, ask yourself — why? Is there a tiny sliver of truth hiding in that compostable packaging? Maybe her eco-bragging has a point. 

If you can make a small change without too much effort — like, say, using a fork that doesn’t end up in a landfill — why not? Just don’t let someone else’s moral superiority ruin your snack time. Smile, nod and enjoy your glorious, slightly sticky, microwaveable freedom.

Best of bad advice,

Amy