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By R.A. Mathews

Editor’s note: This article discusses suicide. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, don’t hesitate to contact the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

They tooled around in a ’57 Chevy, both women approaching 80, calling one another by their last names: “Smith” and “Wesson.”

Smith rode shotgun while Wesson clutched the wheel in a two-fisted, white-knuckled grip. Wesson’s coke-bottle glasses announced she was blind.

It was inevitable that their granddaughters would become independent-minded lawyers: Whitney Wesson, Suzie Smith and Willa Wesson. Willa always stood out — pretty, funny and blonde.

I have changed the names and physical descriptions of people and places to allow everyone privacy because this is a true story. 

Since lawyering is complex, most attorneys choose specialties. Suzie gravitated toward clients she called “the patients.”

The patients never dressed up to see her — no lipstick or high heels. Most awakened not realizing their lives were about to change, that someone would be taking them to the courthouse. They weren’t criminals. 

No. The patients had addictions or mental disabilities that had become life-threatening. Many states have laws that require hospitalization in these instances. But first, the U.S. Constitution requires that these people be represented by counsel. 

Suzie would step inside their little holding rooms, introduce herself, and explain the matter, saying she was there for them.

Suzie had a counseling background and liked this work. She privately would say, “People who lose hope will kill themselves.”

One day, Suzie represented a young mother who had left her toddler with a cousin while she worked. The child had fought it, kicking and screaming. Only later did the mother learn why — there had been abuse.

“He’s better without me,” the mother said about her child, weeping bitterly, hating herself.

Suzie spoke separately with the woman’s family, surprised that they’d brought the child, now school age. His sad eyes said he knew what was going on. 

Suzie took the adults aside to explain the process and then went back to the mother. All Suzie could think was how everyone was continuing to hurt that child.

“He needs you,” Suzie said. 

The mother shook her head.

“Do you know what happens to children when a parent commits suicide?” Suzie asked.

The mother didn’t lift her head.

“Statistically,” Suzie continued, “they are more likely to take their lives.”

The woman abruptly straightened and stared at Suzie. That mother’s love had kicked in.

Suzie later told Whitney, “As soon as she heard the statistic, the mother turned her life around.”

Suzie had represented hundreds of suicidal patients, helping them realize they had family and good reason to soldier on.

“How’s Willa doing out there?” Suzie asked. 

Willa had reluctantly followed her husband’s career to a faraway state. 

“She’s getting divorced,” Whitney said. “She’s only staying there for her daughter.”

Neither knew as they talked that Willa lay dead. Hours earlier, Willa had taken her life.

Suzie sat through the funeral thinking of their indomitable grandmothers, wondering what could have made a difference. She knew Willa had always carried a photo of her daughter. 

“If Willa had just realized the impact the suicide would have on her child,” Suzie said to herself. “If Willa had written on that photo, ‘My daughter will do what I do,’ it might have changed everything.”

If you’re thinking of taking your life, go and be with someone you love. Really consider the impact it will have on your children, your parents, your siblings. 

Call or text the suicide hotline: 1-800-273-TALK or Text 741741. Someone is available 24/7, and the call is confidential. 

What to expect when texting a suicide hotline:

I sent a text to 741741 so you could see. 1:53 p.m. – My text: “Is this the text hotline?” 1:53 p.m. – Response: “Thanks for texting Crisis Text Line, where you’ll text with a compassionate Crisis Counselor… what’s on your mind?”

1:54 p.m. – My text: “Just wanted to see if the number worked.” 1:54 p.m. – Response: “We’re getting a crisis counselor for you. It may take a moment.” 1:56 p.m. – Response: “Thanks for texting… we’re 100% real! A group of trained counselors.” (She then responded to my questions.)

What to expect when calling a suicide hotline:

I also made this call so I could tell you how it goes. 1- 800-273-TALK

A friendly young woman answered within a minute. She said, “What’s going on?” 

I explained that I was writing about suicide and asked whether worried friends and family could also call in. “Definitely!” she said.

I say to you right now: intervene. If you suspect a person has lost hope, intervene. Friends and family can call or text these numbers. Do that now. Get help today.

1-800-273-TALK or Text 741741.

We each need to pay attention. Scripture says: “Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4, NASB).

The Rev. Mathews (BA, MDiv, JD) is a faith columnist, seminary graduate, and the author of the Reaching to God series. Visit her at RAMathews.com

Reprinted with permission from “Reaching to God – Joy.”  Copyright © 2022, 2024 R.A. Mathews, All rights reserved.